Anxiety


It surrounds my every day. Wednesday it crippled me to the point of skipping out on all responsibility except for Ruby.

It’s mostly under control, but it gets the best of me every now and then. Like Wednesday, when all I did was sleep.

Then there was today. I got up, got dressed, got Ruby to daycare, jess to school and me. I ate breakfast on campus, went to both of my classes, the math lab, and dropped off paperwork. It was productive.

And tonight, I got Ruby to bed on my own, with no bottle and very little anxiety / frustration. Today was an incredible win and I’m so proud of myself!

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Anxiety: 0 Jenn: Won

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Flash back to December


**** trigger warning *****

December. I think it’s officially my least favorite month now. On our birthday / anniversary I purposely overdosed on lithium. I calculated enough out to cause damage but not to kill myself.

I called 911 for myself. I spoke with a coworker who had to listen to me heave. My daughter saw me deteriorating in front of her tiny toddler eyes. My wife did the dishes, sobbing. I was dying.

I was taken to the hospital and monitored overnight. Tacycardic and disoriented. They pumped me full of fluids, 8 bags in total I think.

I was released the next day and have since been getting intensive help with my therapist and medication.

I’m currently in a mixed state, but school is going well and I’ve been sleeping the last two days so hope is on the horizon.

Return to the Blog


Well it’s been a while since I’ve updated last! Time to get back into the swing of things.

Ruby is a growing 14 month old now! A walking, almost talking, very much a toddler!

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I recently started school at the University of Idaho. Majoring in Animal Sciences. Jessica is continuing her education at Washington State University and thriving.

It’s late so that’s all I have for now but I’ll leave you with some cute toddler photos!

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Family Photos


Back at the end of June we got family photos taken. We just got the cd in the mail! Here are a few of our favorites.

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Expect a 9 month update soon, for now this is what I’ve got.

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8 months old!


Ruby turned 8 months on June 28th. I have yet to get a weight or length (hopefully today).

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Likes:
* cheerios
* hugs and kisses
* uppies
* shaking her head no
* music
* playing with grandma

Dislikes:
* bananas
* diaper changes
* her car seat now that it’s hot outside

She’s a crawling machine and so fast! She’s also a pulling up machine.

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Not attempting to cruise along furniture yet and still no teeth. She says mama and Abba and seems to know the difference between the two of us by name.

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She’s getting better about letting us back carry her, which is super convenient!

Ruck tied Tibetan


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This was pretty comfortable, save for the ruck straps. I have read that if I sandwich them next time versus bunch them it should be more comfortable.

Pros:
* She was up high
* I was able to get her snug
* No tie was comfortable!

Cons:
* Ruck straps are uncomfortable
* She popped the seat 3 times while getting her secure

All in all I was happy for about half an hour before it got tiring. What should I try next??

Back Wrap Cross Carry


I’ve been having some difficulty with back carries in a wrap so my lovely wife bought me a size 5 Lenny Lamb woven wrap called Mint Lace. At first I wasn’t sure I liked it, but I do love it now!

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I first tried it out doing a front wrap cross carry since I know it well. Definitely comfortable and easy to wrap with. Ruby even liked it!

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Tonight I used the wrap your baby in love tutorial and learned how to hip scoot in a woven. It made this back carry really easy! (Tutorial below)

I really like that this carry doesn’t have ruck straps as those tend to dig into my shoulders.

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She should definitely be up higher on my back but she felt secure and was clearly comfortable enough to fall asleep on our nightly walk.

What’s your favorite carry right now?

Crawling


About two weeks ago miss Ruby started crawling! She is all over the place now!

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We also recently got some more donor milk and she had some birthday milkies!

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Ruby thoroughly enjoyed it this morning 🙂

Half Birthday!


First of all,  how do I have a 6 month old?? Secondly where did the time go?

Ruby is rolling over with ease, and sitting up pretty solidly now.

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She is now 16lbs 8.5oz and 26″ long!

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Her little personality is just shining through more and more.

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I’m currently staying home with her and it’s been a whole new experience for me. I’m not used to this. I was so touched out yesterday that I didn’t even want my pillow touching me. However then she smiles at me or we get a two hour nap and it’s all better.

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Oh and I got a new ring sling as an early Abbas day present! It’s love ❤