The Scary Part of Bipolar Parenting


Back in December you may recall I had a mental health crisis and ended up in the hospital. Well as a result of that my worst fear as a parent came true. CPS was called.

There was an interview with me and my wife and Ruby was visited at daycare but that was as far as it went.

We have been worried for a couple of months now but we just past our 60 days with no contact meaning our case is now closed. We can breathe a little bit easier.

Being bipolar and a parent is so challenging, and I will always worry about CPS showing up again. Guess it’s good motivation to take care of myself!

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Bipolar Parenting


I’ve decided that I will be taking a parenting class. As ruby creeps closer to 1.5 her toddler spirit is showing and parenting as an empathic bipolar is hard!

I love my daughter so much, but I sometimes yell more than I would like to and I’m making a concerted effort to be a better parent for her.

Thankfully bedtime has become easier thanks to the guidance of a friend who teaches parenting classes. This has reduced the stress in the house so so much! The first night was rough but now bedtime is a breeze! 

Sorry this is so short. My brain is tired so it’s nap time.

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Picture from our hike last Saturday 🙂

Dear Pippin


Dear Pippin,
It’s been over a year now since we said goodbye to you, and every day it’s still hard. I miss you, with every fiber of my being.
Laying in bed tonight I still stretch my foot out, expecting to feel the warmth of your little dog body.
I miss your snuggles, your face licks, and especially your companionship.
I know we did the right thing by saying goodbye, but it doesn’t make it any easier without you. Some days I think it makes it worse.
I miss you Pippin Tobias. I wish things could be different and I could have you back, or at least this hole in my heart wasn’t so vast. Rest easy my sweet boy. Until I see you again.

Love,
Your devoted master, your Abba.

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Derby Life


I recently joined the local roller derby team, the Palouse River Rollers and have been taking part in their fresh meat training program.

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It’s been very challenging since I’ve never been on roller skates before now. I used to roller blade growing up, but skates are a totally different beast!

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We recently went to Spokane and visited the skate shop Krunch! I got some basic protective gear, and my very own pair of skates, that I absolutely love!!

I find myself improving every time I strap on my skates. Just today I learned how to skate backwards consistently  (a skill I’ve been trying to work on) and mastered a couple of jumps! I even increased my timed laps by 4, an improvement since Friday! I’m up to 18 now of the required 27 in 5 minutes. Getting closer!

One of my favorite parts about being apart of this team is how welcome I’ve felt, even from day 1. These amazing ladies are my family now and I’m so glad I met them. I even have a derby name,  it’s Jen N Toxxic.

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I’ll let ya’ll know how my skills test goes in a couple of weeks. Wish me luck!

#bleedteal #derbylove #PRR #Toxxic