Dear Pepa

ImageDear Pepa,
I can’t believe it has already been a year since you left us. I think about you all the time. It still hits me in the face over and over again. I know that you are in a much better place. A place where you can breathe easily and are in no pain, but it doesn’t make me miss you less, or the pain any less real.

I think often about how I wish I had spent more time with you before leaving Maine. How I should have called more often, and should have spent time on skype calls with you and Mema. My heart aches to be able to change how things unraveled, but I can’t. I’m just incredibly grateful to have been able to see you before you left us.

I think one thing that hurts the most right now is that I won’t be able to see you meet your first great grandchild, but then I think about how you are probably up there in Heaven with little Harper Patience, and it makes me smile. I also would like to think that you are helping God pick out the soul of our little one. (Sometimes I wish you guys would hurry up and decide!) but I know that you will pick the exact right little soul for us.

I can’t wait to be able to see you again Pepa. Someday it will happen, and until then I will be thinking about you.

All my love to you Peeps,

Your Jennafer ❤


URI – or in layman’s terms an Upper Respiratory Tract Infection. AKA miserable town.

I went to the doctor and she was pretty great. She looked at my ears and confirmed that there was extra gross fluid in there pushing on my ear drums. 

I was given decongestants that are working well, except for my poor ears. It’s only been about 24 hours I know, but I’m just freakin’ miserable. 😦

I was also given an inhaler since I apparently have some wheezing going on due to congestion, or could be my post smoker / post bronchitis / now I’m sick crap.

Anyway, feeling miserable, this is a super choppy post. We are CD9. OPKs start tomorrow. Insem in a week or so-ish. 3-4 this try too!